It is no big secret that opposition to evolutionary theory is primarily religious in nature. The willingness of the general public to understand evolution is largely dependent on whether or not they can stomach the apparent conflict between evolutionary theory and their religious beliefs. I think there are effective arguments that can be made reconciling Christianity with evolution in particular (I’ll lay out my own at some point), but NOT between religion and science in general. Unfortunately, individuals and organizations attempting to reconcile evolution with religion often so by presenting what I think is a fairly misleading view of the purpose, scope, and methodology of science.
One common argument is that science cannot deal with the “supernatural,” as the latter is “outside” of the proper realm of science. In his 1999 book, “Finding Darwin’s God”, Kenneth Miller (p. 194) claims that “by definition, a god is a nonmaterial being who transcends nature…” Therefore science, which deals with the natural world, is incapable of commenting on Him/Her/It.
Whose definition is this exactly? If I am not mistaken, neither the Bible nor the Qur’an ever specifies that God operates outside the laws of nature. Why would they? The people who wrote them didn’t know anything about science, so why would it occur to them to specify whether or not God worked outside of natural laws? Personally, it would make more sense to me that if the universe operates on physical laws that the creator and ruler of the universe would operate on the same principles, so this seems like it ought to be the default assumption.
If the two most widely read (or at least, widely paid lip service to) holy books in the world do not specify that God operates beyond the realm of nature and science, where does this idea come from? Where does the idea that ANYTHING operates outside the laws of science and nature come from? Who exactly decided that "nature", rather than encompassing everything, has some arbitrarily chosen boundary somewhere and that there is stuff on the other side?
This is an important question. If, as a scientist, I am supposed to accept the claim that the “supernatural” exists outside the realm of science, than I need some way of determining whether or not something is supernatural or not so that I can be a good scientist and not ask questions about it.
The creationist response is that if a naturalistic explanation doesn’t yet exist, than we can assume that something (for example, the functional complexity of living organisms) is supernatural. This is why they mostly devote their energies to trying to disprove evolution rather than figuring out a way to prove the existence of God. If evolution fails, the “supernatural” wins by default. Of course, a quick look back over the history of science shows that this is not a safe approach to the unknown, given that, in Tim Minchin's words, "every mystery ever solved has turned out to be...not magic."
It seems clear that the only way of determining if something is supernatural, and therefore outside the purview of science, is if someone who doesn’t want science asking uncomfortable questions SAYS it is...and if they do, otherwise rational and clear-thinking folks just have to accept thier judgement and pretend they do not see the Emperor's tiny penis.
Holy shit, can you actually DO that?! Think of the possibilities…
I’ve always thought three plus three equals seven. The thought comforts me and provides hope against the icy embrace of death. People told me it was impossible, but now I understand; my equation does not fall within the realm of mathematics. It is supermathematical.
“Three plus three does not equal seven” says a mathematician to me.
“No no, you don’t understand.” I explain. “This is a supermathematical equation. It falls in the infinity plus one range.”
“There is no number greater than infinity.” Says the mathematician. “There is therefore no such thing as ‘infinity plus one.’”
“You’re just close-minded.” I say with a smirk. I sure showed him.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Jeff Reads Genesis! Part 5: Sex!
I don’t think that most American Christians realize just how much sex there is in the Old Testament, and one of the best things about the New Living Translation is that it takes the obscure euphemism “know” and replaces it with “have sex with,” which brings home just how much is really going on. In light of how messed up a lot of these stories are, I find it extremely amusing that so many hold up the Old Testament as their standard of proper sexual behavior.
If there is one take home message in Genesis about sexuality, it is this: Nothing is more important that producing lots of children (especially sons), and you can do almost anyone you want to produce them…and I mean ANYONE, especially if they are relatives. A few of the stories driving home this point are worth relating, as well as a couple particularly funny sexual farces. This will be a two-parter.
Please be advised that this blog uses bad language for dramatic emphasis. However, if that offends you, you shouldn't be reading this anyway; read something to help improve your moral conduct, like the Bible. On second thought, read something else. Read "Marley and Me," or the Koran. I haven't read either, but they are both probably more popular.
ADAM AND EVE
As noted in a previous post, the Lord repeatedly visits Abraham and his descendants, promising them not only rule of the land of Canaan, but lots and lots of descendants (e.g. Gen 13:16, 22:17, 28:14, 35:11). Unfortunately, Abraham and his wife Sarai (later Sarah) are having trouble conceiving, so Sarai tells him to have sex with her slave, Hagar. Abraham does, and produces his first son, Ishmael (Gen 16). Sarah somehow gets credit.
A particularly funny episode is related in Gen 12. Araham and Sarah (then Abram and Sarai) have to leave Canaan due to a famine, and they go to Egypt. Sarai is apparently quite good looking, and Abram is concerned that he will be murdered by men coveting his wife. He therefore hatches a cunning plan: he will tell everyone that she is his sister instead of his wife. They get to Egypt, and sure enough, the Pharaoh is attracted to her and takes her into his household, paying off Abram with some livestock. In punishment, the Lord visits a plague on the Pharaoh’s household. The Pharoah summons Abram, who admits to the ruse. The Pharoah says “What the fuck is WRONG with you? Get the fuck out of here!” (I’m paraphrasing) and Abram and Sarai head back to Canaan.
The funniest thing about this story is that it happens AGAIN. In Gen 20, Abraham and Sarah move to Gerar, and again, Abraham is concerned about being murdered because of his beautiful wife and tells everyone that she is his sister. And again, the King of Gerar, Abimelech, takes Sarah into his household. The Lord visits him in a dream and tells him what a bad man he is, and the king again calls in Abraham, who again confesses, and is again asked exactly what the fuck is wrong with him. Abimelech pays off Abraham with a lot of silver, land, and livestock, so it actually turns out to be a pretty profitable con.
And guess what…yes, it happens yet AGAIN, this time with Abraham’s son Isaac (Gen 26:7-11). Isaac and his wife Rebekah move to Gerar to escape a famine, and Isaac again tells someone that Rebekah is his sister. However, this time things don’t go quite as far; Abimelech is looking out his window one day, sees Isaac “caressing” Rebekah, and realizes that she must be his wife. He calls Isaac in, what the fuck is wrong with you sir, etc…and Abimelech, probably twitching and wild-eyed with the memory of his prior traumatic experience with this family of lunatics, issues a public proclamation that anyone that touches Isaac or Rebekah will be put to death.
LOT AND HIS DAUGHTERS
The story of Lot and the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah (Gen 19) is often held up as an example of how much the Lord hates homosexuality, but when the story is told certain parts tend to get left out. Lot, Abraham’s nephew, is living in Sodom, a city of great and (at first) unspecified wickedness. He is visited by two angels (the same two who had lunch with the Lord and Abraham), who come to stay at his house. That night, the men of Sodom gather around the house and demand that the angels come out for gay sex (Gen 19:5). However, Lot is a deeply moral man and knows that this is wicked, so he proposes a more moral alternative (Gen 19:8):
“Look, I have two virgin daughters. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do with them as you wish. But please, leave these men alone, for they are my guests and under my protection.”
What a great father! However, the evil homosexuals of Sodom are too depraved to rape his daughters, and the angels have to blind them all. Then the angels tell Lot to take his family from the city, as the Lord is going to destroy it. Lot, his wife, and his daughters flee, and the Lord rains down “fire and burning sulpher” (Gen 19:24) not only on Sodom and Gomorrah, but all the cities and villages of the region except for the small town that Lot and his family escape too. Although they were instructed not to look back, Lot’s wife does so and is turned into a pillar of salt.
Here is where it gets good: the fiancées of Lot’s daughters refused to leave Sodom with Lot and his family, so Lot and his daughters are now all single and without male children. So Lot’s daughters hatch a cunning plan: get daddy drunk and have sex with him while he is in a stupor, which is what they do (Gen 19:30-35). Both are (happily?) impregnated with sons…and the Lord, although he had just killed thousands of people for sexual deviance, apparently did not have a problem with this.
Incidentally, the name of the son of the elder daughter is Moab, which is also the name of a small city in Utah.
If there is one take home message in Genesis about sexuality, it is this: Nothing is more important that producing lots of children (especially sons), and you can do almost anyone you want to produce them…and I mean ANYONE, especially if they are relatives. A few of the stories driving home this point are worth relating, as well as a couple particularly funny sexual farces. This will be a two-parter.
Please be advised that this blog uses bad language for dramatic emphasis. However, if that offends you, you shouldn't be reading this anyway; read something to help improve your moral conduct, like the Bible. On second thought, read something else. Read "Marley and Me," or the Koran. I haven't read either, but they are both probably more popular.
ADAM AND EVE
Not much is said about Adam and Eve's sexual activity other than that the first mention of it is right after they are expelled from the Garden of Eden. However, the important thing is that they were the first, and therefore should be held in awe. Incidently, it is not specified that Adam did Eve doggy-syle; that is artistic liscence on the part of the Brick Testament.
ABRAHAM AND SARAHAs noted in a previous post, the Lord repeatedly visits Abraham and his descendants, promising them not only rule of the land of Canaan, but lots and lots of descendants (e.g. Gen 13:16, 22:17, 28:14, 35:11). Unfortunately, Abraham and his wife Sarai (later Sarah) are having trouble conceiving, so Sarai tells him to have sex with her slave, Hagar. Abraham does, and produces his first son, Ishmael (Gen 16). Sarah somehow gets credit.
A particularly funny episode is related in Gen 12. Araham and Sarah (then Abram and Sarai) have to leave Canaan due to a famine, and they go to Egypt. Sarai is apparently quite good looking, and Abram is concerned that he will be murdered by men coveting his wife. He therefore hatches a cunning plan: he will tell everyone that she is his sister instead of his wife. They get to Egypt, and sure enough, the Pharaoh is attracted to her and takes her into his household, paying off Abram with some livestock. In punishment, the Lord visits a plague on the Pharaoh’s household. The Pharoah summons Abram, who admits to the ruse. The Pharoah says “What the fuck is WRONG with you? Get the fuck out of here!” (I’m paraphrasing) and Abram and Sarai head back to Canaan.
The funniest thing about this story is that it happens AGAIN. In Gen 20, Abraham and Sarah move to Gerar, and again, Abraham is concerned about being murdered because of his beautiful wife and tells everyone that she is his sister. And again, the King of Gerar, Abimelech, takes Sarah into his household. The Lord visits him in a dream and tells him what a bad man he is, and the king again calls in Abraham, who again confesses, and is again asked exactly what the fuck is wrong with him. Abimelech pays off Abraham with a lot of silver, land, and livestock, so it actually turns out to be a pretty profitable con.
And guess what…yes, it happens yet AGAIN, this time with Abraham’s son Isaac (Gen 26:7-11). Isaac and his wife Rebekah move to Gerar to escape a famine, and Isaac again tells someone that Rebekah is his sister. However, this time things don’t go quite as far; Abimelech is looking out his window one day, sees Isaac “caressing” Rebekah, and realizes that she must be his wife. He calls Isaac in, what the fuck is wrong with you sir, etc…and Abimelech, probably twitching and wild-eyed with the memory of his prior traumatic experience with this family of lunatics, issues a public proclamation that anyone that touches Isaac or Rebekah will be put to death.
LOT AND HIS DAUGHTERS
The story of Lot and the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah (Gen 19) is often held up as an example of how much the Lord hates homosexuality, but when the story is told certain parts tend to get left out. Lot, Abraham’s nephew, is living in Sodom, a city of great and (at first) unspecified wickedness. He is visited by two angels (the same two who had lunch with the Lord and Abraham), who come to stay at his house. That night, the men of Sodom gather around the house and demand that the angels come out for gay sex (Gen 19:5). However, Lot is a deeply moral man and knows that this is wicked, so he proposes a more moral alternative (Gen 19:8):
“Look, I have two virgin daughters. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do with them as you wish. But please, leave these men alone, for they are my guests and under my protection.”
What a great father! However, the evil homosexuals of Sodom are too depraved to rape his daughters, and the angels have to blind them all. Then the angels tell Lot to take his family from the city, as the Lord is going to destroy it. Lot, his wife, and his daughters flee, and the Lord rains down “fire and burning sulpher” (Gen 19:24) not only on Sodom and Gomorrah, but all the cities and villages of the region except for the small town that Lot and his family escape too. Although they were instructed not to look back, Lot’s wife does so and is turned into a pillar of salt.
Here is where it gets good: the fiancées of Lot’s daughters refused to leave Sodom with Lot and his family, so Lot and his daughters are now all single and without male children. So Lot’s daughters hatch a cunning plan: get daddy drunk and have sex with him while he is in a stupor, which is what they do (Gen 19:30-35). Both are (happily?) impregnated with sons…and the Lord, although he had just killed thousands of people for sexual deviance, apparently did not have a problem with this.
Incidentally, the name of the son of the elder daughter is Moab, which is also the name of a small city in Utah.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Jeff Reads Genesis! Part 4: The Old Testament God
The character of the Hebrew God as reveled in Genesis and Exodus is pretty interesting. I am not familiar with other sources of evidence on how the Hebrews saw their deity while the Old Testament was being written, particularly with respect to those of other religions. However, the early books of the Old Testament portray him as a deeply insecure and ambitious deity with some important limitations on his powers, and it is even implied that the Hebrews may have recognized the existence of other gods. So, even though the existence of a single, all powerful and omnipotent God is a theme of modern Islam and Christianity, it was apparently not have been the case for writers of the Old Testament (except in the creation and flood stories), who saw the Lord as a much more human God, more in line with the fallible and often petty deities of polytheistic religions (it is for this reason that I refer to him as “the Lord” rather than simply as “God,” as the latter name implies he is the only one).
The Lord is not omnipotent; he has to go find things out just like everyone else. In Gen 3 for example, God is wandering around in the Garden of Eden after man and woman have eaten the fruit of knowledge, and does not know where man is immediately. He has to call for him. He also has to ask why man is hiding, and then has to intuit from his answer that he had eaten the fruit. In Gen 4:10, the Lord also does not know that Cain has murdered Abel until he hears that Abel’s “blood cries out from the ground.” After eating lunch with Abraham, the Lord tells him that “I have heard a great outcry from Sodom and Gomorrah…I am going down to see if their actions are as wicked as I have heard. If not, I want to know” (Gen 18:20-21).
God is pretty insecure about his position as top dog, and a great deal of what he does in Genesis and Exodus is geared toward not only preventing mankind from becoming as powerful and knowledgeable as he is, but to increase his prestige and reputation. He gives his justification for guarding the Tree of Life in Gen 3:22 “Look, the human beings have become like us, knowing both good and evil. What if they reach out, take fruit from the tree of life, and eat it? Then they will live forever.” When Noah’s descendants are building the Tower of Babel, the Lord expresses the concern that if they succeed “nothing they set out to do will be impossible for them!” (Gen 11:6) and proceeds to interfere.
One of my favorite passages in is Gen 18. The Lord, accompanied by two angels, comes to visit Abraham in the form of three men, but Abraham recognizes him and feeds him lunch. During this visit, the Lord tells Abraham, who is by that point about 100 years old, that he will successfully impregnate his wife Sarah with a son. Sarah overhears this conversation, and, knowing that she is past childbearing age and not believing her husband can even get it up anymore, much less get her pregnant, laughs (Gen 11-12). The following exchange ensues (Gen 13-15):
Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh? Why did she say, ‘Can an old woman like me have a baby?’ Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return at this time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”
Sarah was afraid, so she denied it, saying, “I didn’t laugh.”
But the Lord said, “No, you did laugh.”
I wonder if he went home crying and kicking things.
However, the best example of the Lord needing to be respected is in Exodus. The Lord has a relatively simple task (for a powerful deity): “persuade” the Pharaoh to release Moses and his people. However, he proceeds to make it more complicated. The Lord releases a whole series of awful plagues upon the people of Egypt, and after several, the Pharaoh agrees to release Moses…but then changes his mind, because the Lord deliberately “hardens his heart” (Exod 7:3, 9:12, 10:20, 27, 11:10). This gives the Lord an excuse to keep releasing plagues. Why? Because “I can multiply my miraculous signs and wonders in the land of Egypt…When I raise my powerful hand and bring out the Israelites, the Egyptians will know that I am the Lord.” (Gen 7:3, 5).
In addition to having limitations, the Lord usually presents himself as “the God of Abraham” or “the God of the Israelites,” suggesting that he is their personal god, not everyone’s god, and this suggests to me that the Hebrews acknowledged that other cultures had their own deities. Another reason I think this is the story of Moses. When Moses and his brother Aaron are initially going before the Pharaoh to perform various magic tricks the Lord has empowered them to perform (turning a stick into a snake, turning water to blood, making frogs), the Pharaoh calls out his own sorcerers and wise men to duplicate them…and they can, at least at first (Gen 7:11-12; 7:22, 8:7). Exodus does not say these Egyptian sorcerers and wise men are charlatans…they really do have magical powers, and if Moses and Aaron are getting their powers from the Israelite god, the Egyptians may be drawing their powers from their own deities. Exodus does stress that the Israelite god is stronger; during the stick-into-snake trick, the snake that Aaron creates eats those made by the Egyptians (Gen 7:12), and from the plague of gnats onward, the Egyptian magicians can no longer keep up (Gen 8:19).
The Lord is also not a vegetarian. In Gen 18, Abraham feeds his guests bread, roast veal, milk and yogurt. The Lord also seems to like the smell of burning meat (Gen 8:20-21), which apparently how he gets off on animal sacrifice. Matt Brown has suggested to me that this is “why he invented hell.”
LNJ
The Lord is not omnipotent; he has to go find things out just like everyone else. In Gen 3 for example, God is wandering around in the Garden of Eden after man and woman have eaten the fruit of knowledge, and does not know where man is immediately. He has to call for him. He also has to ask why man is hiding, and then has to intuit from his answer that he had eaten the fruit. In Gen 4:10, the Lord also does not know that Cain has murdered Abel until he hears that Abel’s “blood cries out from the ground.” After eating lunch with Abraham, the Lord tells him that “I have heard a great outcry from Sodom and Gomorrah…I am going down to see if their actions are as wicked as I have heard. If not, I want to know” (Gen 18:20-21).
God is pretty insecure about his position as top dog, and a great deal of what he does in Genesis and Exodus is geared toward not only preventing mankind from becoming as powerful and knowledgeable as he is, but to increase his prestige and reputation. He gives his justification for guarding the Tree of Life in Gen 3:22 “Look, the human beings have become like us, knowing both good and evil. What if they reach out, take fruit from the tree of life, and eat it? Then they will live forever.” When Noah’s descendants are building the Tower of Babel, the Lord expresses the concern that if they succeed “nothing they set out to do will be impossible for them!” (Gen 11:6) and proceeds to interfere.
One of my favorite passages in is Gen 18. The Lord, accompanied by two angels, comes to visit Abraham in the form of three men, but Abraham recognizes him and feeds him lunch. During this visit, the Lord tells Abraham, who is by that point about 100 years old, that he will successfully impregnate his wife Sarah with a son. Sarah overhears this conversation, and, knowing that she is past childbearing age and not believing her husband can even get it up anymore, much less get her pregnant, laughs (Gen 11-12). The following exchange ensues (Gen 13-15):
Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh? Why did she say, ‘Can an old woman like me have a baby?’ Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return at this time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”
Sarah was afraid, so she denied it, saying, “I didn’t laugh.”
But the Lord said, “No, you did laugh.”
I wonder if he went home crying and kicking things.
However, the best example of the Lord needing to be respected is in Exodus. The Lord has a relatively simple task (for a powerful deity): “persuade” the Pharaoh to release Moses and his people. However, he proceeds to make it more complicated. The Lord releases a whole series of awful plagues upon the people of Egypt, and after several, the Pharaoh agrees to release Moses…but then changes his mind, because the Lord deliberately “hardens his heart” (Exod 7:3, 9:12, 10:20, 27, 11:10). This gives the Lord an excuse to keep releasing plagues. Why? Because “I can multiply my miraculous signs and wonders in the land of Egypt…When I raise my powerful hand and bring out the Israelites, the Egyptians will know that I am the Lord.” (Gen 7:3, 5).
In addition to having limitations, the Lord usually presents himself as “the God of Abraham” or “the God of the Israelites,” suggesting that he is their personal god, not everyone’s god, and this suggests to me that the Hebrews acknowledged that other cultures had their own deities. Another reason I think this is the story of Moses. When Moses and his brother Aaron are initially going before the Pharaoh to perform various magic tricks the Lord has empowered them to perform (turning a stick into a snake, turning water to blood, making frogs), the Pharaoh calls out his own sorcerers and wise men to duplicate them…and they can, at least at first (Gen 7:11-12; 7:22, 8:7). Exodus does not say these Egyptian sorcerers and wise men are charlatans…they really do have magical powers, and if Moses and Aaron are getting their powers from the Israelite god, the Egyptians may be drawing their powers from their own deities. Exodus does stress that the Israelite god is stronger; during the stick-into-snake trick, the snake that Aaron creates eats those made by the Egyptians (Gen 7:12), and from the plague of gnats onward, the Egyptian magicians can no longer keep up (Gen 8:19).
The Lord is also not a vegetarian. In Gen 18, Abraham feeds his guests bread, roast veal, milk and yogurt. The Lord also seems to like the smell of burning meat (Gen 8:20-21), which apparently how he gets off on animal sacrifice. Matt Brown has suggested to me that this is “why he invented hell.”
LNJ
Mother Nature Has Gone Mad, Here In Arizona
It must be the apocalypse. I woke up to snow, which was melting within an hour or two. Then there was intense but intermittent rain showers for about another hour. Right now there is....hail? It is like, packed mini-snowballs a couple millimeters across, but it is gently like falling like heavy snow rather than hail. I just heard a loud crash, which was either thunder or a semi eating it on I-40. I'm scared.
Later: Within a few hours the sun was out, the birds were singing, and it had pretty much all melted. That was damn weird.
LNJ
Later: Within a few hours the sun was out, the birds were singing, and it had pretty much all melted. That was damn weird.
LNJ
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Is This For Real?
Most people reading this blog are well-aware that American education is occasionally distorted to indoctrinate students to a particular set of religious values, rather than serving its intended purpose...preparing kids for life as adults. This includes preparing them to confront the variety of views present in the outside world, regardless of which ones they choose to adopt for themselves. Unfortunately, the idea of letting kids know enough to have informed opinions and make responsible decisions is flat-out terrifying to a lot of parents and school board members, who want to eliminate any possibility of their children deciding to think differently than they do. Usually, thier attempts to shape education to suit thier ideological agenda is aimed at cirricula rather than teachers.
However, the case of Mr. Richard Mullens, a school teacher in Brookeland, Texas, is something else entirely. If Mullens is presenting his case accurately, he has, literally, been suspended for being a suspected liberal and atheist.
This seems to be the case of a small community of hard-core religious fanatics who happen to control the local school board, so I'm not too concerned that this is part of a widespread witch hunt in conservative states to eliminate left-leaning or non-believing teachers. Still, it is pretty incredible that this is actually happening, and I wonder if these people realize what they could be bringing down on themselves if publicity and outrage over this case spreads...especially since Mullens is apparently a genuinely good teacher with the support of at least a big chunk of the student body.
However, the case of Mr. Richard Mullens, a school teacher in Brookeland, Texas, is something else entirely. If Mullens is presenting his case accurately, he has, literally, been suspended for being a suspected liberal and atheist.
This seems to be the case of a small community of hard-core religious fanatics who happen to control the local school board, so I'm not too concerned that this is part of a widespread witch hunt in conservative states to eliminate left-leaning or non-believing teachers. Still, it is pretty incredible that this is actually happening, and I wonder if these people realize what they could be bringing down on themselves if publicity and outrage over this case spreads...especially since Mullens is apparently a genuinely good teacher with the support of at least a big chunk of the student body.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Jeff Reads Genesis! Part 3: The Creation Story
I was surprised to learn that the Genesis creation story does not quite fit the picture of the history of life pieced together from actual evidence, so I guess this web site lied to me. Moreover Genesis 1 and the slightly condensed recap in Genesis 2 do not quite match.
In Genesis 1, God starts by creating the heavens, Earth, and waters before the first day. Night and day are created on Day 1. The sky is created to separate the waters of the heaven and Earth on Day 2. Dry land and seed and fruit-producing plants are created on Day 3 (and in fact, the plants apparently start proliferating themselves on the same day). The Sun, Moon, and stars are created on Day 4 (two days after day and night; I wonder how that worked). Fish, other aquatic life, and birds come on Day 5. Animals (apparently all land animals) and human beings (of unspecified number and gender) are created on Day 6 (Note to Ann Coulter: God did not actually specify that human beings should “rape” his gifts; remind me to never give you any valuable presents. “Where is that new cell phone I gave you, Ann?” “Oh, I raped it. Then I smashed it with a hammer. I get a new one, right?” “Ummm..no.”).
Genesis 2 does not specify which days things were created on, but has God creating the Earth and heavens before plants, has the plants being watered by springs before he creates rain, then creates man from dust, followed by the Garden of Eden (the source of the Tigris, and Euphrates rivers runs through it, which probably rules out it being located in Missouri). God then creates animals and birds, stating "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him."(Gen 2:18). He brings these animals to Adam one at a time "to see what he would call them" but finds that "there was no helper just right for him" (Gen 2:19-20), so he then creates woman. Hmmmm... I wonder who the first runner up was. Monkey? Yeah, I think monkey.
So, in Genesis 1, day, night, and plants are created before the Sun and Moon, and birds are created before land animals. In Genesis 2, mankind is created before animals and birds, and woman shows up last.
Doesn't quite mesh with the statigraphic evidence. I had no idea. Fortunately, there is nowehere in the Bible where it says you have to believe the Genesis creation story to get into heaven, so my soul is safe. Heh. Not really.
LNJ
In Genesis 1, God starts by creating the heavens, Earth, and waters before the first day. Night and day are created on Day 1. The sky is created to separate the waters of the heaven and Earth on Day 2. Dry land and seed and fruit-producing plants are created on Day 3 (and in fact, the plants apparently start proliferating themselves on the same day). The Sun, Moon, and stars are created on Day 4 (two days after day and night; I wonder how that worked). Fish, other aquatic life, and birds come on Day 5. Animals (apparently all land animals) and human beings (of unspecified number and gender) are created on Day 6 (Note to Ann Coulter: God did not actually specify that human beings should “rape” his gifts; remind me to never give you any valuable presents. “Where is that new cell phone I gave you, Ann?” “Oh, I raped it. Then I smashed it with a hammer. I get a new one, right?” “Ummm..no.”).
Genesis 2 does not specify which days things were created on, but has God creating the Earth and heavens before plants, has the plants being watered by springs before he creates rain, then creates man from dust, followed by the Garden of Eden (the source of the Tigris, and Euphrates rivers runs through it, which probably rules out it being located in Missouri). God then creates animals and birds, stating "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him."(Gen 2:18). He brings these animals to Adam one at a time "to see what he would call them" but finds that "there was no helper just right for him" (Gen 2:19-20), so he then creates woman. Hmmmm... I wonder who the first runner up was. Monkey? Yeah, I think monkey.
So, in Genesis 1, day, night, and plants are created before the Sun and Moon, and birds are created before land animals. In Genesis 2, mankind is created before animals and birds, and woman shows up last.
Doesn't quite mesh with the statigraphic evidence. I had no idea. Fortunately, there is nowehere in the Bible where it says you have to believe the Genesis creation story to get into heaven, so my soul is safe. Heh. Not really.
LNJ
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Jeff Reads Genesis! Part 2: Genesis Synopsis
There are a lot of interesting themes and amusing stories in Genesis, but I’ll only focus on a couple. First though, a summary. For the most part, I'll be referring to the deity discussed in the Old Testament as "the Lord" rather than just "God," for reasons I'll explain later.
Genesis starts, of course with the creation story (Gen 1-2), and the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden (Gen 3), where Eve is cursed with childbirth and being a second-class citizen for trying to make her and her man less ignorant. We then follow the descendants of Adam. After Cain murders Abel, Genesis lists about six generations of his descendants (Gen 4:17-24), but then we jump over the Adam and Eve’s third son Seth (Gen 5) and follow his line for the rest of Genesis. We don't learn a whole hell of a low about any of them except for five: Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph.
By the time of Noah, Seth’s eighth descendant, everybody on Earth except Noah is totally evil and in a fit of depression, the Lord decides to destroy the Earth (Gen 6-8). A few interesting points: if you the math based on the measurements given (Gen 6:14-18), the ark held about 1,500,000 square feet, and with three decks, this translates to each deck being 15 feet high and having about 500,00 square feet. The sauropods must have been a little cramped. Also, contrary to common belief, the flood did not last forty days and nights; this was just how long it took the flood waters to rise. The flood itself lasted for five months until the waters began to drain, which took about another five months, so Noah et al. were actually trapped in the ark for almost an entire year (Gen 7-8).
The only specific rules laid down by the Lord in Genesis are presented after the Flood (Gen 9:4-7); that blood must be drained from meat, and that any animal or human that kills a human being must be killed by human hands.
Noah curses the son of his son Ham over his body issues (Gen 9:4-7), and the descendants of Ham are doomed to serve those of his brother, Shem and Japheth. From this point on, we mainly follow the descendants of Shem (incidently, by an amazing coincidence Ham is the ancestor of the Babylonians, who happen to have destoyed Jerusalem and were keeping the Hebrews as slaves about the time these stories were being written down). The Towel of Babel story explaining where all the world’s languages come from is in Gen 11.
Abram (later Abraham) is one of a descendant of Shem, and Genesis spends a fair amount of time focusing on him (Gen 12-23). Abraham is important because it is with him that the Lord forms a covenant, promising him a innumerable descendants and eventual rule of the land of Canaan. The Lord affirms and reaffirms this covenant over and over again, not only with Abraham but with his son Isaac, grandson Jacob, and great-grandson Joseph. As a symbol of the covenant, the Lord tells Abraham to cut off his foreskin, and to make sure that all the men in his family (including the servants and slaves) do the same (Gen 17). This leads to a funny scenario where Abraham gathers his first son Ishmael and all his servants and slaves, tells them about this, and proceeds to circumcise the lot (Gen 17:23). I wish I could have been a fly on that wall, just to see the reactions. "What I'm going to do now may seem a little unusual..."
The story of Lot (Abraham’s nephew) and the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah is covered in Gen 18-19. This story is worth revisiting later.
We spend some time with Isaac, Abraham’s legitimate heir, although his story isn’t that interesting (Gen 21-26). Isaac has two sons: Esau, who is a Sasquatch and not very bright, and Jacob, who is a prick. Jacob royally screws over Esau (Gen 25:27-34, Gen 27). However, although the Lord reaffirms his covenant with Jacob (Gen 28), Jacob does not get off easily. Gen 29-31, telling of Jacob’s marriages and time serving his father-in-law Laban, is one of the funnier parts of Genesis (I’ll spend some time on it later). The Lord eventually gives Jacob the name “Israel” after they have a wrestling match where the Lord takes Jacob’s leg out “Karate Kid” style so he won’t lose.
Jacob has a bunch of sons by his wives and concubines, but his favorite is Joseph, he of the colorful coat. Joseph’s story is pretty interesting, and takes up the last part of Genesis (Gen: 37-50). Joseph pisses off his brothers by telling them about a dream he has that foretells them serving him, and they sell him into slavery, telling their father that he was eaten by a wild animal. Joseph ends up in Egypt, where he displays both charisma and administrative talent, and through a complicated series of events ends up as the Pharaoh’s second-hand man, and the most powerful man in Egypt. Joseph begins to stockpile a huge surplus of grain because of a dream the Pharaoh has foretelling a famine, which hits the region after seven years. The famine hits Canaan as well, and Jacob sends his other sons to Egypt to buy grain. They don’t recognize Joseph, and he naturally takes the opportunity to fuck with them a bit. However, ultimately he fesses up to who he is and persuades Jacob, his brothers, and their entire family to move to Egypt so that he can look after them. They all live happily ever after...although things don't go so well for the Hebrews in Egypt down the road.
LNJ
Genesis starts, of course with the creation story (Gen 1-2), and the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden (Gen 3), where Eve is cursed with childbirth and being a second-class citizen for trying to make her and her man less ignorant. We then follow the descendants of Adam. After Cain murders Abel, Genesis lists about six generations of his descendants (Gen 4:17-24), but then we jump over the Adam and Eve’s third son Seth (Gen 5) and follow his line for the rest of Genesis. We don't learn a whole hell of a low about any of them except for five: Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph.
By the time of Noah, Seth’s eighth descendant, everybody on Earth except Noah is totally evil and in a fit of depression, the Lord decides to destroy the Earth (Gen 6-8). A few interesting points: if you the math based on the measurements given (Gen 6:14-18), the ark held about 1,500,000 square feet, and with three decks, this translates to each deck being 15 feet high and having about 500,00 square feet. The sauropods must have been a little cramped. Also, contrary to common belief, the flood did not last forty days and nights; this was just how long it took the flood waters to rise. The flood itself lasted for five months until the waters began to drain, which took about another five months, so Noah et al. were actually trapped in the ark for almost an entire year (Gen 7-8).
The only specific rules laid down by the Lord in Genesis are presented after the Flood (Gen 9:4-7); that blood must be drained from meat, and that any animal or human that kills a human being must be killed by human hands.
Noah curses the son of his son Ham over his body issues (Gen 9:4-7), and the descendants of Ham are doomed to serve those of his brother, Shem and Japheth. From this point on, we mainly follow the descendants of Shem (incidently, by an amazing coincidence Ham is the ancestor of the Babylonians, who happen to have destoyed Jerusalem and were keeping the Hebrews as slaves about the time these stories were being written down). The Towel of Babel story explaining where all the world’s languages come from is in Gen 11.
Abram (later Abraham) is one of a descendant of Shem, and Genesis spends a fair amount of time focusing on him (Gen 12-23). Abraham is important because it is with him that the Lord forms a covenant, promising him a innumerable descendants and eventual rule of the land of Canaan. The Lord affirms and reaffirms this covenant over and over again, not only with Abraham but with his son Isaac, grandson Jacob, and great-grandson Joseph. As a symbol of the covenant, the Lord tells Abraham to cut off his foreskin, and to make sure that all the men in his family (including the servants and slaves) do the same (Gen 17). This leads to a funny scenario where Abraham gathers his first son Ishmael and all his servants and slaves, tells them about this, and proceeds to circumcise the lot (Gen 17:23). I wish I could have been a fly on that wall, just to see the reactions. "What I'm going to do now may seem a little unusual..."
The story of Lot (Abraham’s nephew) and the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah is covered in Gen 18-19. This story is worth revisiting later.
We spend some time with Isaac, Abraham’s legitimate heir, although his story isn’t that interesting (Gen 21-26). Isaac has two sons: Esau, who is a Sasquatch and not very bright, and Jacob, who is a prick. Jacob royally screws over Esau (Gen 25:27-34, Gen 27). However, although the Lord reaffirms his covenant with Jacob (Gen 28), Jacob does not get off easily. Gen 29-31, telling of Jacob’s marriages and time serving his father-in-law Laban, is one of the funnier parts of Genesis (I’ll spend some time on it later). The Lord eventually gives Jacob the name “Israel” after they have a wrestling match where the Lord takes Jacob’s leg out “Karate Kid” style so he won’t lose.
Jacob has a bunch of sons by his wives and concubines, but his favorite is Joseph, he of the colorful coat. Joseph’s story is pretty interesting, and takes up the last part of Genesis (Gen: 37-50). Joseph pisses off his brothers by telling them about a dream he has that foretells them serving him, and they sell him into slavery, telling their father that he was eaten by a wild animal. Joseph ends up in Egypt, where he displays both charisma and administrative talent, and through a complicated series of events ends up as the Pharaoh’s second-hand man, and the most powerful man in Egypt. Joseph begins to stockpile a huge surplus of grain because of a dream the Pharaoh has foretelling a famine, which hits the region after seven years. The famine hits Canaan as well, and Jacob sends his other sons to Egypt to buy grain. They don’t recognize Joseph, and he naturally takes the opportunity to fuck with them a bit. However, ultimately he fesses up to who he is and persuades Jacob, his brothers, and their entire family to move to Egypt so that he can look after them. They all live happily ever after...although things don't go so well for the Hebrews in Egypt down the road.
LNJ
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Magnificent
P.Z. Meyers posted this over at Pharyngula. It was apparently actually real concept art considered for the poster for "Expelled," and creationist sentiment couldn't be parodied any more effectively. You want anti-evolutionary hysteria personified in a single image? Here it is: a chimp with a gun.
The only way it could be better is if the chimp was wearing a Nazi uniform.
LNJ
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| From Paleo Errata |
The only way it could be better is if the chimp was wearing a Nazi uniform.
LNJ
Monday, February 2, 2009
Jeff Reads Genesis! Part 1: Introduction
By now, there is very little point at pretending that my predictions concerning what my next blog are going to be about are in any way accurate. My next blog will be on “High School Musical.”
I haven’t read the entire Bible through from beginning to end for over ten years, but have decided it is time to re-familiarize myself with the Old Testament. It may seem odd that I would want to familiarize myself the bloodthirsty, sexist, and occasionally boring stories and laws of a patriarchal and patrilineal tribe of monotheists living in a corner of the Middle East during the Iron Age. You may not be aware of this, but these stories and laws are (selectively) taken seriously by a surprisingly number of people living 2,500 years later in a technologically advanced and extremely powerful civilization thousands of miles away. This is because one member of said Iron Age tribe eventually claimed to be the son of god worshiped by this tribe, and promised immortality to mankind if they would believe him and torture him to death. A lot of them did.
Anyway, many members of the modern technologically advanced civilization think that people who don’t believe the Old Testament stories will burn in hell forever and ever. Jesus and his early followers said no such thing (and in fact they deliberately flaunted some of the laws laid down in the Old Testament). Indeed, if memory serves, the Old Testament contains no guidelines for getting into heaven at all. God presents a lot of rules (the majority of which are ignored or downplayed by modern Christians) and punishes breaking many of them with death, but not specifically with damnation (I’ll find out if I'm right about that as I read). Still, it is worth reviewing these stories, which for some reason, modern Christian fundamentalists seem to put on par with Jesus’ actual teachings in terms of importance.
I am reading the “New Living Translation,” which essentially converts the Bible to vernacular English. This is a very direct and non-flowery telling of the Bible, which not only makes it easier to absorb, but enhances the entertaining qualities of many of the stories. I’m going to start with Genesis, first with a synopsis (being a little heavy on the creation stories), and then by getting on a couple of the more entertaining and interesting aspects.
LNJ
I haven’t read the entire Bible through from beginning to end for over ten years, but have decided it is time to re-familiarize myself with the Old Testament. It may seem odd that I would want to familiarize myself the bloodthirsty, sexist, and occasionally boring stories and laws of a patriarchal and patrilineal tribe of monotheists living in a corner of the Middle East during the Iron Age. You may not be aware of this, but these stories and laws are (selectively) taken seriously by a surprisingly number of people living 2,500 years later in a technologically advanced and extremely powerful civilization thousands of miles away. This is because one member of said Iron Age tribe eventually claimed to be the son of god worshiped by this tribe, and promised immortality to mankind if they would believe him and torture him to death. A lot of them did.
Anyway, many members of the modern technologically advanced civilization think that people who don’t believe the Old Testament stories will burn in hell forever and ever. Jesus and his early followers said no such thing (and in fact they deliberately flaunted some of the laws laid down in the Old Testament). Indeed, if memory serves, the Old Testament contains no guidelines for getting into heaven at all. God presents a lot of rules (the majority of which are ignored or downplayed by modern Christians) and punishes breaking many of them with death, but not specifically with damnation (I’ll find out if I'm right about that as I read). Still, it is worth reviewing these stories, which for some reason, modern Christian fundamentalists seem to put on par with Jesus’ actual teachings in terms of importance.
I am reading the “New Living Translation,” which essentially converts the Bible to vernacular English. This is a very direct and non-flowery telling of the Bible, which not only makes it easier to absorb, but enhances the entertaining qualities of many of the stories. I’m going to start with Genesis, first with a synopsis (being a little heavy on the creation stories), and then by getting on a couple of the more entertaining and interesting aspects.
LNJ
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